(Disassociated Press) Speaking from his back bathroom through a tin can, Delegate Patrick McDonough announced he will never go outside his home again. Ever.
"The prob," McDonough said, "is DNA." Mr. McDonough went on:
"Back in the day, everything was Black and White. Not any more.
"A while back I complained about 'Black youths' doing this or that and one of my very strongest supporters out here in White Haven pointed out that there were probably some Hispanic kids messing around, too.
"I never even thought of that! Everyone knows that Hispanics are non-White. Everyone I know, anyway. But does that make them Black?
"Someone told me that the head of the Harvard Black Studies program is half-White. Does that mean Dr. Gates ought to be able to walk around free as a bird down at the Inner Harbor?
"I mean, he used to be a Black youth . . .
"It's just all gotten too confusing.
"I blame President Obama and his White mother.
"Is the President Black or not?
"Morgan Freeman says the man is White.
"Well, if he's White, then all the hubba hubba about his birth certificate does not make any sense. Does it?
"Romney's daddy was born in Mexico, for crying out loud. Is Mitt a Mex?
"This is all just to confusing.
"Take Italians. Are they White or not? I mean, you got lots of White-looking Italians such as Britney Spears, Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Paris Hilton, Bruce Springsteen, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bon Jovi, all teh Fondas - Bridget, Jane, Henry; then you got your Frank Sinatra, your Sean Penn, your Madonna, your Lady Gaga.
"But what if it turns out they are Black? Black like Obama?
"Am I supposed to say Bruce Springsteen and Leo DiCaprio should stay away from the Inner Harbor?
"I thought I would be OK just pointing the finger at Black Baltimore and the Inner Harbor. But if Italians are Black and Obama is White and Baltimore starts welcoming Hispanics . . .
"You tell me: where is it safe to be a nativist bigot these days?
"I can't deal with this. I can't walk out my door now, worrying about who's what, and who or what I might run into.
"I wish we could go back to the good old days where if someone looked Black, you could just not let'm in.
"As soon as we stopped doing that, everything got all complicated on me.
"Maybe I better just sit here and shut up."
Maybe so . . .
Background:
McDonough says mayor creating 'super magnet' for illegal immigration
Pat McDonough ratchets up 'mobs of black youth' talk, criticism of mayor on WCBM weekend show
Morgan Freeman: Obama Not 'First Black President'
"There is no African American we have ever tested who is 100 percent black. None," Gates said.
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